I hate my father, because he wasn’t there. I didn’t see him at my school events (speech days, sports day etc, he wasn’t around to give me advice, and I never had those special father-children moments I saw other kids having.
As a young boy, I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t in my life. The absence felt personal, and over time, it turned into anger. I blamed him for everything I felt I missed. But life doesn’t always stay the way we expect. And neither do people.
Today, the story is different. My father, the man I thought I hated, is now one of the closest people in my life. He’s my friend, my companion, and someone I look up to. It wasn’t easy to get here, but I’ve learned that even broken relationships can be repaired with time, forgiveness, and effort.
What Changed?
The shift in our relationship happened slowly. As I grew older, I faced challenges that I didn’t know how to handle. After nights and days of emptiness and loneliness inside despite showing up in all spaces with a happy face, I made efforts to connect with my Dad. He started to show up. He listened to me, offered advice, and made an effort to connect with me as well. At first, I was skeptical. Where was this man when I needed him as a child?
But as we talked more, I began to understand his side of the story. My father wasn’t perfect. He had his own struggles, fears, and mistakes that kept him away. He wasn’t absent because he didn’t care—he was simply a man trying to figure out his own life. That realization helped me let go of my anger.
Forgiving him wasn’t easy, but it opened the door for something new: a relationship built on honesty and love.
Why Young Men Need Their Fathers
As I rebuilt my bond with my father, I realized just how much I had missed. Fathers are more than just a figure in the house—they play a key role in shaping their sons.
- Guidance: Fathers help teach us how to make decisions and handle challenges in life.
- Support: They offer a shoulder to lean on when life gets tough.
- Identity: A father helps his son understand what it means to be a man.
- Accountability: They push us to be responsible and do what’s right.
Without this connection, young men often struggle to find direction. Reconnecting with my father made me realize how much his presence could have guided me through my toughest years. But it also taught me that it’s never too late to start building that relationship.
Being a father isn’t just about providing for your child—it’s about being there. Children look to their fathers for love, discipline, and an example of how to live. The Bible highlights the importance of this role:
• “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4
• “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
• “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” – Psalm 127:3
When fathers are involved in their children’s lives, they build strong foundations for their families and future generations. They teach their children how to love, how to handle challenges, and how to be better parents themselves.
A Second Chance
I used to hate my father, but now I love him. He’s become the person I call when I need advice, the one who laughs with me and shares my dreams. We’re building the relationship I always wanted, and it’s one of the most rewarding parts of my life.
If you’re a young man who feels disconnected from your father, don’t give up. Start the conversation. Ask the tough questions. Share your feelings. Healing takes time, but it’s worth it.
And to the fathers out there—your role is vital. Be present. Listen. Support your sons. They may not say it, but they need you more than you know.
Fatherhood isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing up, trying, and loving with all your heart. My father and I are proof that it’s never too late to start.
